psalm 143:8

My dear friend Bliss Katherine and I had a shoot together this past May, and she is one of the most talented people I know. She truly has such a gift for capturing the beautiful moments in life. She is also the most beautiful person inside and out. Her friendship has come to mean so much to me over the last year or so and I am just so thankful to God for putting her in my life in the way he has.

She is someone I can talk to about anything and often times she has already had the sense to be praying for me before I ever even ask her to.

When I was scrolling through the folder of edited photos she sent me, this one in particular I just stopped and stared at, because it just captures so honestly the feeling and emotions I feel at this time in my life and that day in particular.

Right before this shoot we were in the car on the way to the Rose Garden, where we were planning to do our shoot, and she, sensing something was up with me, asked if I was okay, and my heart was so heavy that the only response I could give was just tears immediately streaming down my face, and me hastily trying to wipe them away because I didn't want my face to be all ruined in the photos from my crying, and she said that things would be okay and that she loved me and that we didn't have to talk about it right then, and I took a deep breath and wiped the water from underneath my eyelashes and we went ahead and did this shoot.

But I love this picture because it just is. It's not posed. It's just me. Standing there, unassuming and waiting to be lead.

And that's exactly where I'm at.

I may have been through a lot this year, and am still going through it, but at the very moment when God took that chisel and hammer and made that first crack into the barrier I'd had around myself, and he began to take control over my life and the things I wanted so selfishly to hold on to and cling to, it was at that exact moment.. When your heart feels that first crack, that stabbing pain, because you've lost something or had to let go, or had to accept something that every fiber in your being wanted to ignore. Or whatever it is. It's at that moment that a miraculous change and exchange beings to take place. As soon as I gave up whatever control I thought I had on my life, and surrendered it to God and made a decision to trust him and his ways above my own.. The Lord drew so near to me. And suddenly all of the confusion and the heartache began to feel somehow beautiful, in it's own broken, misshapen, shattered sort of way. It's like I could feel, somewhere deep inside of me, the Lord picking up the broken pieces, dusting them off, and beginning to fit them back together in the way they were meant to go together from the beginning. From the very start, when he formed me in my mothers womb and dreamed up all the days of my life and all the plans he had for me.

And I don't mean to diminish the pain that we as humans can feel over many different things in this life by using the word "beautiful". The pain is still very real and raw and oftentimes takes serious time to heal from. And sometimes not even then. But it's the way that God uses that pain to transform you. If you let him. That's where the beauty comes from. It's this supernatural process that takes place in your spirit when you commit your ways to God and trust him to break you, knowing that he breaks with infinite wisdom and the best intentions, knowing exactly how to tear you down in order to build you up stronger.

I said at the beginning of this year that if nothing else good happened this year that it wouldn't matter to me at all if I could look back on the year and see that I've grown closer in my relationship with God. It's already the middle of the year somehow and God has been so faithful. I think that every one step we take closer to God, he takes two steps toward us.

But my reason for sharing all of this is because if you are in a place where you are fearful of something, no matter the magnitude or however seemingly small and insignificant, I want to encourage you to do the hard thing. Whatever that is. The road that seems the most difficult and ridden with uncertainty and excuses and what if's. Because it may not be easy, and it may break you to the point where you feel you've hit rock bottom, but God will meet you there at the bottom. And he sees what's around the corner and just over that mountain, and he knows exactly what it's going to take to prepare you for the beauty that he has in store for you.

I've found myself continuously thanking God for everything that I'm going through and everything that troubles me lately because I know that it's testing me and causing me to look inward and really ask myself wether or not I trust God to see me through in each situation. So often my mind says yes, but my heart is unsure wether or not he'll really come through for me. But so far he has only proven himself worthy of my trust, and I'm learning that trust and faith aren't about seeing and knowing. It's in fact the opposite. It's about learning to trust when we can't see what's on the other side of the door he's asking us to walk through, and having faith when we don't know the outcome of the situation. Being a Christian is challenging in that way but it's also worth it because we are following a God who promises to never leave us or forsake us. Who draws near to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Who turns ashes into beauty.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord."

 -James 1:2-7

The second half of that verse is just as important as the first. It's hard sometimes to have faith, but when we press in and choose to trust that God will come through for us, he responds to that and honors it and is able to bless us out of that. God is loving and giving at his very nature, and blessing us is what he desires. But we have a responsibility to pursue him and to choose to trust him every single day. And I'm trying to do just that.

I don't know how this got so long so I'll end it here. But thanks for reading, if you made it this far.

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,  for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." -psalm 143:8

Love,

Christie

"Believing" cover

Did a simple cover of this song "Believing" that appears on the TV show "Nashville"

It's such a pretty song and it just really spoke to my heart so I wanted to cover it just for fun.

Hope you enjoy!

-Christie

Wit & Bloom

When given the opportunity to feature miss Katy Robinson's new etsy shop, it was pretty much a no-brainer because who doesn't love floral crowns, and beautiful, affordable handmade goodies?

She made this daisy crown especially for me and I love it so much!

I've never had a floral crown before and I can see why gals like them so much, because who wouldn't want to feel like a fairy princess all the time?!

Check out her shop and go get you one! : https://www.etsy.com/shop/witandbloom

Love,

Christie

Tuesday

Feeling grateful.

Here's some photos I snapped today (digital, not film) on our walk to see my brother and sister in law's new house they just just closed on. They're remodeling, so don't mind the mess!

Sophie in a tangle of loving hands.

Wolfy and those ridiculous brown eyes.

Sophie Marie

Chauntelle, Sophie, Sherri, Jessie and baby Campbell, who she nannies.

Tiny feet.

Sophie always has us laughing!

Pretty old messy floors.

Scarlett and Sophie. 

They literally just sat here like they were posing for me. But when you WANT them to pose for a picture, you can forget about it.

Kayla, being a goof and happened to see me taking her picture,

 so she blessed me with this fancy pose.

The beautiful (x1000) Karsyn. I mean seriously, talk about photogenic this one!

Just some flowers.

Semi candid me, snapped by Sherri. I was walking over in front of the green to take a photo, 

but the posed picture looked silly and I liked this one better.

Scarlett and her big cheesy grin.

Pretty sure Wolf likes his new house, cause he was running around like a crazy boy!

Stacy & Scarlett

Wolf being super animated and yelling about who knows what haha

Wolf and some happy sun flare accidents.

And Wolfy leading the pack, obviously.

Hope you all enjoyed your Tuesday as much as I did.

Love,

Christie

A few thoughts on photography

I feel like a good photographer finds and borrows beauty that God has already put in the world; a beautiful face, the magnificent sky, the sun illuminating the softest hairs blowing in the wind..
But a great photographer borrows that beauty from the world, and then, at the perfect moment, draws forth a bit of their soul, and captures the beauty that God has placed within themselves.

(I could rabbit trail off into the subject of glorifying God with whatever talents and gifts we've been given, but although my above statement relates to that topic, it isn't necessarily exclusive to it. And I can already tell that is far too great a topic for the hour at hand. Which is almost 2am.)

I don't claim to be a great or even a good photographer at that, and in fact I wouldn't consider myself a photographer at all. There are so many wonderful photographers who I think have truly captured their own spirit, (perhaps a post on that later) so to put myself in a category with them at all just seems wrong.
Almost like calling myself a pianist when all I can do is tinker around a bit when there are people who spend most hours in a day practicing and perfecting that craft and earning that title.

With photography, it's really just that I enjoy capturing moments and I love the sound of the shutter and the feel of cranking the lever that advances the film to a new frame. It's strangely satisfying, and I find the whole process of using film rewarding.
Knowing that once you fire the shutter and crank that lever, for better or for worse, you've captured something permanently.

With all that said, I don't necessarily expect anyone to appreciate these photos but me, because they are mostly just captured moments of my family, and other random stuff that I feel I have a sentimental connection with more than anything..
But these are a few of my photos that mean something to me, so I figured I would share. 

There are always plenty of "stinkers" in each roll of film I get back, but when you're flipping through and find a shot that turned out exactly as you imagined it- that's what makes it all worth it.

If you've been wanting to get into film photography, I highly encourage you to go for it!

Love,
Christie

Deeply Rooted

Let me first just say that my primary reason for writing this post is not because I think I have everything figured out, or because I want to force my beliefs on you, or anything of that nature.

I am simply writing from the point of how these are the things I am learning and the things I wish I could have told myself a good while ago.. Not to say I would have done a single thing differently in my life, because I am thankful for where God has taken me.. but it's what has been on my heart, and I feel the need to share it.

I came across this magazine recently and it just truly jumped out at me because it's main focus is to encourage wives and mothers to become deeply rooted in their faith, which is something that is so very near and close to my heart. And before you stop reading this because you may not be a wife or a mother yet, let me assure you, I'm not either..
But this magazine and everything they are doing, while it's amazing that their mission statement is geared for wives and mothers, I think SO many of us younger women can benefit just as much, if not more, from it's content.

And before I elaborate, let me just say, GIRLSSS! Please, hear me. Single or dating or whatever you may be, you are LOVED, VALUED, and TREASURED by the maker of the universe and I feel like some of you may need to hear that.

But I just want to encourage you today (although I know it's hard) to try and stop focusing so much on finding a boyfriend or a future husband, and instead shift that focus onto yourself.

Here's what I mean: This time of being single, dating, or unmarried women, should be a time of preparation. A time to plant good seeds inside of ourselves and really consider the type of women we are, and the type of women we want to be! I know patience is such a hard thing this day and age, especially when ALL we see all day long is people who just seem to have everything together because they have found "the one" but let me tell you, those people don't have it all figured out either. Sure, they are lucky as all get out to have found love! But you shouldn't let the constant stream of media that promotes love and how it's the answer to all of your problems trick you into thinking that your life will be solved once you find that love or get married. It is my personal belief that God is the only one who has the kind of love that fixes all your problems. The only love that is truly fulfilling. And even if you are dating someone, my hope is that we all can find our identity in something OTHER than our "significant other". For me, that means finding my identity in Christ.

And this isn't meant to be some pep talk or some cheesy ad about personal growth, but let me get back to my point. This time of preparation. I'd say we can at least all agree on the fact that we'd love to get married and have kids someday, right? (give or take on that last part), and don't we want to have the best shot at being the BEST wives and mothers we can be?? I'll answer for you and say yes.
But where we often go wrong is thinking of this elusive "someday" when we think of those things.
But I am realizing that it starts here and now, and in this moment. 

Because what is a wife? She is you, married to your spouse. What is a mother? She is you, raising your children. The only way to be a good anything in this life is to be a good you. And the process and preparation for being the best wife/mother someday is to really take a good look at yourself now. To admit to your flaws, ask God to help you grow, to help you weed out the bad and to nurture the good in yourself and in your life.
And that is my prayer for all of you reading this who have maybe been struggling with your place in life and feeling like you can't wait to get to the the future and finally be in that place that so many other people are already in. I just want to encourage you to have patience. To rest. To wait. To dream. To prepare. To seek God. To plant seeds and to put in the time to water them and watch them grow. Because no change ever came from an idea. It comes from hard work and effort and often times blood, sweat, and tears.
But the beautiful thing about doing life as daughters of Christ is that the blood, sweat, and tears are never wasted. The fires are the things that produce the most gold in us.

And the other beautiful thing is that the bible promises that God is working things out for OUR good. It says to seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all the rest will fall into place.
If we are trusting God in the present moment, I can promise you he has our best interests at heart and will prepare us for and provide for that elusive "someday" when the time is right for us.

I guess what I'm trying to say is instead of worrying "Who is right for me?" let's focus on making ourselves the best versions of ourselves that we can be and becoming women who are founded on something real. Who are built from the ground up in Christ. And let God worry about who's right for you when that time comes.

If you are finding yourself at all relating to the nature of this post, I hope you are encouraged and I hope you know how beautiful you are, inside and out.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love."

-John 15:1-9

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

-Romans 8:28

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

-Matthew 6:33

Thanks for reading,

Christie

Lucky Penny

I think I would probably blog more if I felt it was necessary.

The only thing I'm really interested and passionate about sharing on this blog is photos, and I do that on instagram about a thousand times a millisecond. Okay, not really, but almost.

So whatever void in me that blogging may have ever filled is already being taken up by instagram.

And I feel like posting iPhone photos on here is just kinda pathetic.. (But my Nikon batteries died after about 3 seconds today so I'm posting a couple iPhone pics on this post too)

I've also considered using this blog to post my film photos.. but somehow I always have this weird inexplicable need to "save them" for something special.. does anyone else do that with stuff? It's hard not to, even though I know it's not necessary. But now that Merriment's album cover and booklet is all done I guess that was the only real reservation I had for any film photos I liked of mine, and we only used one of them for one of the inside panels. So perhaps I'll post more of them on here soon.

But anyway, my point is that two things inspired me to take photos and actually blog today and that was A Beautiful Mess's new photoshop actions I had on my computer just waiting to be used, and some new boots!

And okay, okay, my new thrifted granny dress may have had something to do with it too.

I'd been wanting these "Lucky Penny" boots from Seychelles ever since I first saw them on someone's instagram last year, and after a few months of "Dang it, I really want those.." "No way, you don't need them!" "But they are everything I've ever wanted in a boot!" "But they're expensive, and you don't need them.." conversations with myself, I finally found them online for half the price! Thus finding the perfect way to justify it in my head, that and my birthday is in a couple months, so, psh, I practically deserved them. (Kidding.)

But in all seriousness, these boots were worth every penny to me!

I am obsessed with shiny shoes, and these are the perfect height and they just sang out to me!

"Oh hello, boots. Wanna be friends? Like forever? Okay, good. Me too."

Being a very thrifty gal by nature, it's always hard for me to actually spend more than $25 bucks on any one item of clothing, but I'm glad I talked myself into buying these. 

They are the kind of boots I would have slept in when I was a kid because I loved them too much to take them off. 

Thankfully I have gained some common sense over the years and can bear to take these off at night, but I wouldn't put it too far past me.

Love, 

Christie