I am simply writing from the point of how these are the things I am learning and the things I wish I could have told myself a good while ago.. Not to say I would have done a single thing differently in my life, because I am thankful for where God has taken me.. but it's what has been on my heart, and I feel the need to share it.
I came across this magazine recently and it just truly jumped out at me because it's main focus is to encourage wives and mothers to become deeply rooted in their faith, which is something that is so very near and close to my heart. And before you stop reading this because you may not be a wife or a mother yet, let me assure you, I'm not either..
But this magazine and everything they are doing, while it's amazing that their mission statement is geared for wives and mothers, I think SO many of us younger women can benefit just as much, if not more, from it's content.
And before I elaborate, let me just say, GIRLSSS! Please, hear me. Single or dating or whatever you may be, you are LOVED, VALUED, and TREASURED by the maker of the universe and I feel like some of you may need to hear that.
But I just want to encourage you today (although I know it's hard) to try and stop focusing so much on finding a boyfriend or a future husband, and instead shift that focus onto yourself.
Here's what I mean: This time of being single, dating, or unmarried women, should be a time of preparation. A time to plant good seeds inside of ourselves and really consider the type of women we are, and the type of women we want to be! I know patience is such a hard thing this day and age, especially when ALL we see all day long is people who just seem to have everything together because they have found "the one" but let me tell you, those people don't have it all figured out either. Sure, they are lucky as all get out to have found love! But you shouldn't let the constant stream of media that promotes love and how it's the answer to all of your problems trick you into thinking that your life will be solved once you find that love or get married. It is my personal belief that God is the only one who has the kind of love that fixes all your problems. The only love that is truly fulfilling. And even if you are dating someone, my hope is that we all can find our identity in something OTHER than our "significant other". For me, that means finding my identity in Christ.
And this isn't meant to be some pep talk or some cheesy ad about personal growth, but let me get back to my point. This time of preparation. I'd say we can at least all agree on the fact that we'd love to get married and have kids someday, right? (give or take on that last part), and don't we want to have the best shot at being the BEST wives and mothers we can be?? I'll answer for you and say yes.
But where we often go wrong is thinking of this elusive "someday" when we think of those things.
But I am realizing that it starts here and now, and in this moment.
Because what is a wife? She is you, married to your spouse. What is a mother? She is you, raising your children. The only way to be a good anything in this life is to be a good you. And the process and preparation for being the best wife/mother someday is to really take a good look at yourself now. To admit to your flaws, ask God to help you grow, to help you weed out the bad and to nurture the good in yourself and in your life.
And that is my prayer for all of you reading this who have maybe been struggling with your place in life and feeling like you can't wait to get to the the future and finally be in that place that so many other people are already in. I just want to encourage you to have patience. To rest. To wait. To dream. To prepare. To seek God. To plant seeds and to put in the time to water them and watch them grow. Because no change ever came from an idea. It comes from hard work and effort and often times blood, sweat, and tears.
But the beautiful thing about doing life as daughters of Christ is that the blood, sweat, and tears are never wasted. The fires are the things that produce the most gold in us.
And the other beautiful thing is that the bible promises that God is working things out for OUR good. It says to seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all the rest will fall into place.
If we are trusting God in the present moment, I can promise you he has our best interests at heart and will prepare us for and provide for that elusive "someday" when the time is right for us.
I guess what I'm trying to say is instead of worrying "Who is right for me?" let's focus on making ourselves the best versions of ourselves that we can be and becoming women who are founded on something real. Who are built from the ground up in Christ. And let God worry about who's right for you when that time comes.
If you are finding yourself at all relating to the nature of this post, I hope you are encouraged and I hope you know how beautiful you are, inside and out.
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love."
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."